ch ch ch changes

Things in my life are getting real now.

going on 34 weeks pregnant… the nursery is nearly finished.

‘Before Baby’ projects are getting crossed off the list one by one.

Everyone keeps asking if I’m excited… how I’m feeling… names picked out??

The answers are, actually, no. Not that excited. I find myself withdrawing to process these unknown emotions I’m having.

All I hear is how much work newborns are and how stressful life becomes. Sure, they say we’ll fall madly in love… but the reality is we’ll be sleepwalking zombies without a clue what we’re doing.

I’m feeling just fine… I have never really had the ‘classic pregnancy symptoms,’ which is a blessing. Except for the heartburn.

And names? Not really…. we really think we need to meet the baby to come up with a name. Our only hope is that we’ll reach a decision before we’re dismissed.

I feel like I’m not normal because I’m really not that excited [yet].

I’m anxious for a new chapter…

I’m excited to have a live-in model.

I’ve loved decorating the nursery.

But I guess my thought is: how can I be excited about something that terrifies me? Lack of control maybe??

God has trusted me with this little life. I hope I live up to His expectations.

But most of all, I’m praying for a fat, healthy baby.

On a lighter note, new look for the blog! With a new space for lots of [future] pics of the baby.

So take a tour and get to know it. My guess is that I won’t have the energy (or time) to change it for a while ‘AB’ (‘after baby’).

And another thing I’m not sure about is how this new chapter will affect my business. I’m sure it will change my priorities… I currently divide my energy between my business and volunteering. I can potentially see decreasing the number of weddings I shoot/month, but we’ll just have to see! Play it by ear.